To put it bluntly, today has been shit!

I don't even know where to start, everything that could go wrong today, has! I woke up and I wasn't in too much pain, as the day has progressed, I have experienced a burning pain in my left ovary though. Which partly brings me to the first part of today's shitness! (I know it's not a word but who cares?) In July last year, I had an MRI, to see if my endo was extensive or not. It wasn't but I was told at the time that I had a retroflexed womb that was 3.5cm, 2cm smaller than it should be, I had an ovarian cyst and fluid in the POD. I was a bit shocked but I got over it fast, I understood that my chances of fertility were uncertain until I tried and that I am prone to ovarian cysts. That was fine until today.

Today I had a letter that said I have possible adenomyosis, PCOS and endo. I had an ovarian cyst which was conclusive with PCOS and that I would need an ultrasound to confirm the PCOS. It said that I had an anteverted, retroflexed uterus which means my womb tilts forwards as normal but folds back onto itself in a very tight "C" shape. I have rectovaginal endometriosis which I had told them from day 1 that I had but they denied it and also that the whole uterine corpus (womb, cervix, vagina) is smaller. To top it all off, my gynae was all bitchy with the letter saying that I was wrong in what I said when actually the proper results have shown I was right all along. I can't even explain how upset and angry I was this morning. I asked for her to write to my GP stating she had discharged me so I could see a specialist because she was just a pain specialist and she puts at the beginning of the letter something about she has done this letter on my request so I can be refered to someone else which she wasn't aware of that system and she didn't see why she had to do it.

I just can't believe still how she's being just because I want to see a specialist. Then about 2 hours later my fiance gets a call from this random woman telling him that he's lost his job because they're cutting down on staff because there aren't as many orders as there were and they don't need him. We'd planned so many things and were about to plan our wedding and pay for things. It's a good job I didn't do anything as that would have ended so badly.

There were a few other things like dropping things, stuff not working but that is all little so not relevant. I can't wait to see my specialist now, I've heard so many great things about him and I know that I'll get all the help I need when I'm there, well at least I hope I will. Even sadder was that we were saving up to survive with a baby when the time comes and now we have nothing. I suppose everything happens for a reason but why? Why does it have to be this heartbreaking and frustrating?

I hope all of you have had better days and just so you know, the lady I saw was at Oxford University Hospital, Miss Jane Moore. If you are refered to her or anyone for endo at that hospital, steer clear. I've heard a lot of bad stuff about her. For your safety and sanity, I'd not bother. If any of you are interested in the specialist I'm going to see then go to kendoc.org .

Thanks for reading and again, staying throughout my rant and ramble.

Night, night, sleep tight girls!

Leya :) xo